The Stories We Tell Ourselves Hurt Us the Most

A big reason we feel hurt is because we create stories in our head about other people’s behavior and assume everything they do is about us — but it’s not! Most people are dealing with things we cannot see and their reactions come from their own stress and struggles.

When someone is rude, quiet, or distant, we tend to assume it’s about us. But most of the time, it reflects what they are going through, not something we did. It’s easy to take this personally, but in moments like these, empathy for them and for ourselves is essential.

Learning not to take things personally means pausing before jumping to conclusions. Instead of thinking, “What did I do wrong?” remind yourself, “Maybe this isn’t about me.” That small shift can stop overthinking and unnecessary hurt. It stops us from questioning our value or chase approval, because we understand that their behavior shows where they are not who we are.